Making Peace with Your Mom: Steps to a Healthier Mother-Daughter Relationship

H. Norman Wright, Sheryl Wright Macauley
Bethany House (2006)
ISBN 0764202901
Reviewed by Stephanie Rollins for Reader Views (1/07)

H. Norman Wright has written more than 70 books.  He is a licensed marriage therapist.  His daughter, Sheryl Wright Macauley, an illustrator, joined him to write “Making Peace with Your Mom.” 

Wright and Macauley summarize well the different types of mothers.  Some neglect.  Some smother.  There are many in-betweens.  How many of us remember the criticism of our mothers that still haunt us into adulthood?  “Making Peace with Your Mom” teaches us how to cope with those negative feelings.

“Making Peace with Your Mom” mixes Godly advice with quips from women about their relationships with their mothers.  Many of the descriptions are sad.  “My mother had a deep hatred for me.  She seemed jealous.  If I was prettier or thinner than her, she hated me and let me know it.”

Other statements were uplifting and reminded me of the importance of motherhood.  “My mother is loving, nurturing, encouraging, and kind.”  The theme throughout the book is that your mother will probably not change her behavior unless you take the initiative to make her change her behavior.  Ultimately, it is our responsibility to be accountable for our own feelings. 

Why do we want to avoid scrutinizing the relationship we have with our mothers?  As one woman explains, “I am afraid to look too closely.  I guess I’m afraid of what I’ll find.  I don’t want to discover that what I felt all along is true.”   It is so much easier to sweep it under the rug—or is it?  Wright and Macauley explain that the anger, frustration, and other negative feelings we have in association with our mothers will affect each aspect of our lives, especially our relationships with our daughters, if we do not address the issues.  Though we may not be able to change all the annoying behaviors of our mothers, we can change the way we react to the behaviors. 

“Making Peace with Your Mom” inspired me to try harder to be a mom that my daughter deserves.  I hope when she grows up that she sees that I truly have tried to be what she needed me to be.  I want her to describe me as one stated in the book, “As a little girl, my mom was always there for me.  She was a stay-at-home mom who worked alongside my dad….”

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