Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers

I. E. Woodward
iUniverse (2010)
ISBN 9781450247061
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (06/10)

 

When a former high school football star literally gets caught with his pants down, with someone’s husband, he has to hit the road fast. Fleeing the ridicule from his parents and the people in his small town, he leaves his house with a white picket fence behind and heads to the big city. Quickly becoming tired of life on the streets, he gets a job, working in the kitchen, at a restaurant/house of ill repute, called The Rendezvous. He is taken under the wings of Antoine, who is the head chef and half-owner of this place. Antoine shares ownership with his “wife” Miss Jason who is a drag queen. While Antoine cares about his employees, Miss Jason seems to care more about making money and not breaking any of his nails. Underneath it all, there lies a good heart.

Mike works on the other side of the business at The Rendezvous. I guess you could say that he is more involved with the sales end. Shortly after starting his job, Logan meets him and finds he is falling in love/lust rather quickly. When Mike takes Logan home, Logan discovers that Mike has a son and two very protective “parents,” Mom and Dad. Mom seems to be most at home when he wears his apron and pearls, while Dad seems more comfortable dressed like a cowboy, with his double barrel shotgun close at hand. Mike also has a baby who was created while publically performing with Amber when he worked at a truly sleazy establishment. Shortly after Amber gave birth, she was murdered. When Mike realized that the gangsters that he worked for were after the baby, he fled with his son and started working for Antoine and Miss Jason.
When it becomes obvious that Logan, Mike and the people who are close to them are under attack, the mystery and mayhem escalates. The attacks, obviously of deadly intent, include using wine bottles, duct tape, rattlesnakes and bullets. Of course, they are not all used at the same time. Unfortunately, when a murder occurs on the premises, Mike and Logan have to decide which one of them is being targeted. The mayhem continues after there is a kidnapping. This brings in more interesting characters, some of whom are working for the other side. As the drama unfolds, truths come to light, and relationships among the characters are exposed. Logan and Mike finally find the answers that they are seeking.

“Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers” truly earned its five star rating. It is like no other murder mystery that I have ever read, in my life. The cast of characters is quirky, zany and entertaining. I loved how Woodward is able to create such a unique group of people, yet still take you inside their heads so that you can see their true human nature, whether it be good or bad. He is also very creative about how the characters are mistreated by the bad guys. There were times that I found myself unsure if I should laugh, squirm or cry for the characters. One constant thought that did run through my head was that if “Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers,” ever gets made into a movie, Preparation H and Vaseline will be sure to be sponsors. It would also have to be rated “H,” for Hysterical. I highly recommend this book to people who have open minds and enjoy crazy, creative mysteries.

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