Infinite Playlists: How to Have Conversations (Not Conflict) with Your Kids about Music

Todd Stocker, notes by Nathan Stocker
Kregel Publications (2010)
ISBN 9780825436567
Reviewed by Joseph Yurt for Reader Views (09/10)

 

In “Infinite Playlists,” Pastor, public speaker, and writer Todd Stocker jumps into the age old conflict between parents, children, and differing preferences in music. While the author targets Christian parents and children, there is much universal content that will benefit the Secular audience. Stoker’s goals for his book are to offer an understanding of God’s purpose for music, provide guidelines to help families decide together which music is acceptable, and will foster healthy conversation between parent and child about music and other potential family conflicts. Generally, the book does not “preach.” Instead, the author delivers his content, in a warm, engaging, and sometimes humorous manner (for example, he originally self-published the book with the title “An 8-Track Parent in an MP3 World.”)

Stocker has a passion for music and acknowledges that he has one ear in Secular rock and the other in Christian rock. Like all true music lovers, he extols the virtues of all music genres. Hence, he devotes roughly half the book to Christian music history, the effects of music and understanding music genre. Midway through the book the author offers his “Guidelines for Discussion,” which present a universal model that parents and children can use to create a playlist of acceptable music, artists and groups. His approach incorporates straightforward, common-sense questions like “What do the lyrics say?,” framed by clear cut tenets like “appropriate lyrics are nonnegotiable.” The model is sound and should help families grapple more positively with this issue. Stocker points to benefits including empowering a child to make choices and the establishment of an ongoing conversation and relationship between parent and child.

Despite the book’s successes, I was disappointed in the absence of any suggestions from the author with regard to every parent’s lament about supporting and monitoring their child’s music choices when they cannot be with them. Presumably, Stocker’s and his son Nathan’s mutual trust is strong enough to negate the need for a discussion of this issue. In his acknowledgements, Stocker gives thanks to 13-year-old Nathan for “...giving me the eyes of youth during this writing project.” But, each time I read one of “Nathan's Notes” sprinkled throughout the book, I felt  concern that Nathan was atypical for his age and that perhaps he would be difficult for some readers to relate to. In one note, for example, Nathan writes “I’m 13. I need to know why a song is good or not. Sometimes I don’t like his (Dad’s) final answer, but he’s the Dad and I should trust him. What he says goes. It’s for the best.” Based on my anecdotal research and personal observations as a Youth Educator, most tweens and teens don’t “buy into” that readily.

Taking on the task of resolving this ongoing family conflict is difficult. But on balance, “Infinite Playlists” offers useful, common-sense guidelines that can perhaps make it a little easier for busy parents to establish a positive dialogue with their kids and at least minimize the potential harm to their children that can result from making the wrong choices in music. 

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