The Saber-Toothed Tiger: The One Reason Women Stay With Abusive Men

Josée Perrine
iUniverse (2010)
ISBN 9781450200776
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (04/10)


Finally! The author has provided great information on why women stay in abusive relationships that actually makes sense.  For many years there has been an ongoing debate and numerous myths as to why women stay.  As a reputable counselor working with victims of violence, the author shares her information by including stories she has heard and intensive research she has done.

As a college Psychology instructor, many of the myths addressed by the author run rampant in my classes from being brainwashed to no place to go. The author through her experience addresses many of these myths and relates why they aren’t true.  Not every woman who is in this type of relationship stays, many leave right away after the first incident. How do they manage it when others can’t?

There wasn’t a chapter in this book that didn’t provide excellent information; it is a book that one can’t put down.  An interesting section is where the author asks readers to complete an exercise making a list of what they thought their childhood was like and then write down feelings of how they felt during that time.  Sometimes what we think was “normal” was less than that.  In another section, the author discusses emotional absence, where parents ignore the child or partially tune in. Children receive just enough attention to survive but barely and then often find that one perfect man (in their minds) that actually pays attention to them.  The author did a great job in showing a difference between being lonely and loneliness. Many of us, even those who are healthy experience being lonely, but loneliness is something different.

Every professional counselor and every woman needs to read “The Saber-Toothed Tiger: The One Reason Women Stay With Abusive Men” byJosée Perrine.  I have recommended this to my college students. We have discussed this book in my classes and many say “I have learned so much.” It’s time we changed our thinking, making changes in how we professionally and socially treat these women. Are you ready for this change?

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