Emerald's Garden: Living, Loving and Saying Goodbye

Marsha Johnson
Morris Publishing (2006)
ISBN 0976535904
Reviewed by Audrey Hauser for Reader Views (9/06)

When I read the preface of “Emerald’s Garden” telling that it was from the author’s journal I thought I might be getting into the day by day details of her life path and it would get tedious.  This book is anything but boring. Marsha Johnson uses words masterfully as she tells the story of her niece Emerald Alexis Watson.  I actually felt like I was with Marsha and Emerald the week-end of their last visit.  There was the absolute joy only a child can bring to us.  When word came of Emerald’s sudden illness and her brief fight for life I felt the same disbelief as Marsha did.  I asked the question why?

Marsha’s Lessons in Death were something I could apply to myself for I too have lost someone that I loved dearly.  Her feeling that it is something we all must face was enhanced by the deep feeling for Emerald and the short time that Emerald was in her life. Some of those simplest things in life are brought out by association with a child and are remembered even when there is heartbreak.  As if Emerald’s death wasn’t enough to cause heartfelt grief, Marsha also had to come to terms with the death of her co-worker and friend, Crystal and Crystal’s baby soon after.  It was these second deaths that caused her to take stock of her life.  Was she really a success or was she a failure?   The insight came through God that she must find her purpose no matter how long it took.  After all, Marsha was not just planning her life but her eternity.  She learned that even though her hopes were for the best things that she must prepare for the worst of things.

In preparing for the worst, Marsha used her skills of organization to put her life in order.  Planning for the future meant planning for the crises that would come.  All during her grieving she questioned her spiritual life was what it should be.  A voracious reader, Marsha went through books on everything that she thought would help her.  She was emotionally drained but at the same time realized that by keeping her mind healthy she would also help her emotions to heal.  With not only the deaths, but also a divorce to contend with, Marsha stresses the importance of not taking on too much.   Easier said than done, Marsha learned that by helping others she was on the road to better health.  She just needed to learn to limit herself.  Her finances were in disrepair and she looked to a goal of cleaning them up without setting a definite time period. Her reasoning was what it took to get there and equally would take time to get back on her feet.   Preparation to grieve could not be complete without looking at preparing physically. That meant healthier eating and exercise.

The section on Compassion was the most thought provoking for me.  I’ve long known that a burden shared is a lighter burden, but  like Marsha, it took me awhile to learn that it really doesn’t matter to others how much we know,  but it does matter how much we care.   Is laughter appropriate in the grief period?  Definitely.  The adage that laughter is good medicine is even truer in times of grief.  Marsha gave us lessons in how to put people first, before things.  Her story helped me better understand that showing compassion is showing our Christian testimony to those around us.  It is important to show love and not hide it.  By doing this we risk rejection and pain but it is still important not to withhold our love.  Loving unconditionally is true love, and it is a language understood by people everywhere.  Sometimes all we can do is to hold someone who is suffering  The Biblical passage referring to Titus took on new meaning as I thought back to the Titus‘ in my life.  I realized that even in my worst times God had sent me a Titus too. I finally realized that to have gained compassion for others I had to walk the path of suffering myself and I have done that.

The dos and don’ts of mourning were included in a helpful way and frankly are something worth printing out and keeping handy.  The ways of showing our grief, also outlined, are guides to help those going through that period.  Everyone has a different way of grieving and a different schedule.  I especially thought the chapter on children’s grieving was well put.  We sometimes don’t realize that children are affected by death too.  Every one of us has to go through grieving and mourning before we can start our recovery.  There will be suffering and tears and this is a real part of the process.  If we find God in our lives we need to be thankful and give praise.  We need to learn the act of forgiveness.  All of these things will guide us to the recovery stage and help us to the time when we can say good-bye to our grief and go forth with living.

This book taught me a lot about myself and called for me to do some soul searching.  I have walked many of the same paths as the author and while I did not follow the same guidelines I believe I have become the person I am today because God was there with me.  Because of “Emerald’s Garden”, I revisited my past and saw that had some of
these things been pointed out to me then my road would have been easier to walk.

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