It Started at the Church: Trapped In Love and Trouble

Brenda Havlicek
AuthorHouse (2011)
ISBN 9781463426316
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (9/11)


“It Started at the Church” begins when Betty, a teenager, is being pursued by Brother Donavon, from her church.  Betty initially tries to dissuade Donavon because he is several years older than her and has a girlfriend.  Donavon backs off for a while, but during a time in Betty’s life when she is in turmoil, he steps in as a friend and they begin talking. Because he seems like a good, responsible Christian man, Betty’s father gives them permission to date, in spite of the age difference.  At first everything seems blissful, but shortly thereafter Betty starts to see another side of Donavon. This is a side that she does not like because his actions go against her Christian beliefs. These behaviors include drinking, smoking marijuana, and having guns.

Engaging in intimacy with him, Betty believes that this is okay because she thinks that he plans on marrying her. As time passes, Donavon’s behavior becomes even more erratic, especially after he loses his job. Trying to help out, Betty starts paying for most of their dates, and she convinces herself that if she is more loving to him it will calm his temper down.  One day, when Betty stands up to him, the violence escalates and she finds herself left bleeding from her head on his front lawn. He left her not knowing whether or not she would survive his brutal attack.

Knowing she needs to stay away from him, but not wanting him excluded from the help of their church, Betty even asks the minister to let him back in.  In time, they start talking again, then seeing each other, but things never get back to how they were during the good times. It seems the only way to keep Donavon from her, is for him to leave the area, but even then that doesn’t stop their communication. As their lives go on, Betty learns some important lessons about life and love, and about how she was seriously affected by an incident that happened in her childhood. Most importantly she learns to value her self-worth, because no one else will if she can’t even do that for herself.

“It Started at the Church” is a powerfully written true story that needs to be read by all young ladies, especially those with poor self-esteem.  If someone in an abusive relationship can be woken up to the reality of their situation by reading “It Started at the Church,” then perhaps their life might actually end up being saved by getting out early. There are many lessons to be learned in this story, and I really appreciated that the author shared such intimate aspects of her life to reach out to help others by writing this book.

 

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