as we grieve: discoveries of grace in sorrow

Jan Groft
Graham House Books (2010)
ISBN 9780984230600
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (02/10)

 

Over the years, many of us have lost loved ones, friends, and pets to death. Each of us handles death in a different way. Author Groft has written a wonderful, insightful book on death and how different people handle it. It really is more of a memorial to those who have passed on.

Even in times of loss, Groft says we can find valuable gifts and memories. Through special stories of her own and close friends who had a death impact them, we can open our hearts, heal and say the things we have always wanted to say but didn’t.  None of us will ever have the perfect family - we all have issues and it is very important that we try to get rid of those. Sometimes, as we see in some of the stories, it really is just about visiting and sitting with a person - we don’t always have to talk.

In the chapter titled “The Rest of the Ride,” the author talks about working with hospice patients and how many feel it can be so hard and bring a caregiver down. What the author does say is, yes, it can be draining, but it can give us the opportunity to learn about life and love through someone else’s eyes.  As she quotes from Gerald Sittser “It is not what happens to us that matters as much as what happens in us.”

Readers will feel as if they are sitting by a friend and talking - the author provides no lectures or have-to-dos. At the end of each chapter she provides readers with the opportunity to write and reflect. In my professional experience I have always found this very therapeutic. Jan Groft’s “as we grieve: discoveries of grace in sorrow” is a wonderful book to keep on library shelves and read over and over.

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