Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay: Paths from Family Violence to Safety

Barry Goldstein
Robert D. Reed Publishers (2002)
ISBN 1931741085
Reviewed by Cherie Fisher for Reader Views (2/07)

Congratulations to Barry Goldstein for writing “Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay,” a book that gives hope to women caught in domestic violence that they can successfully leave.  Goldstein, an attorney in New York who has become an expert on domestic violence issues and long time board member and past chairman of My Sisters Place, certainly has the experience and background to write this book.

The information is broken down into ten real-life case studies of heroic women who had the courage to leave their abusers and start over.  The lack of support that the women received through the courts, and the quagmire of red tape that the women had to go through in custody cases, was shocking in several of the case studies.  I was appalled to read in one case where a report of a father inappropriately kissing his four and six year old daughters on their vaginas was allowed unrestricted visitation.  He had full sexual relations with one of the daughters on their next visit.  I was also amazed at how often the abusers were allowed to get away with continued harassment.  The author does show that the laws are finally getting better for protecting women, but we still have a long way to go. 

Goldstein did a great job of breaking the cases studies down into sections on the history of the divorce, the divorce itself, custody issues, financial issues and many more topics.  He takes a very caring approach to his cases and really goes the extra mile to ensure the women and children’s safety.  These stories really show that people can get away from these awful situations and find safety and happiness for them and their children. 

The final chapters of the book give great advice on how to get help and find the right people to get out of a bad situation.  I highly recommend “Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay” for people suffering from domestic violence and those that are trying to help them get out of it.  It may not be an easy road, but definitely worth it at the end. 

Make comment on weblog