Just One: Connecting With A Grandmother's Life

Esther Gerstenfeld Erman
Zumaya Publications (2003)
ISBN 1894942140
Reviewed by Debra Gaynor for Reader Views (8/06)

This is the true story of Esther, a young Jewish girl growing up in America in the 50’s.  Young Esther faces the taunts of classmates and the differing of society and her home life.  Esther longs for a grandmother and cherishes anything she can find out about her.

Estera died in a gas chamber at Treblinka during the Holocaust.   Only one daughter survived.  Queen Esther greets Estera in heaven and shows her glimpses of her daughter and granddaughter’s life on earth.  Estera desires to hold her loved ones close to her.  She longs to guide her granddaughter through life.  But first she must lay aside her anger.

Estera appears to her granddaughter in a dream and in light.  She warns that this must be a secret between the two of them.  Over the years, Estera continues to visit her granddaughter.  Through these visits Esther learns many things and so does Estera.  ‘“Granddaughter’s are treasures beyond imagination,” I said to the queen.  “Even when they give you trouble.”’

As I read this book, tears filled my eyes; tears of joy and sadness, tears of understanding.  When Estera speaks of her granddaughter I hear wisdom.  I can relate to her statements.  “I trembled to touch this child.  I even had a moment of doubt that I would know how to hold this baby, to feed her and clean her and care for her…As soon as Surele was in my arms – from that very first instant - I remembered everything known since the beginning of time about holding babies.”

“It was like I had known this child forever—and had been her grandmother from the first moment of Creation.  I felt almost crazy.  My eyes filled with tears—and yet I had to hold myself back from laughing.”

The author speaks eloquently of the love of a grandmother for her grandchildren.  But there’s more to this book than just that love.  There is truth in telling of the holocaust.  Ms. Erman paints a picture of the nightmare when she tells what happened to Estera and Gittle. She tells of those murdered and of those who would live with physical and emotional scars for life.  “Lying on the ground with the rough cobblestones pressing into my stomach and legs and chest and head, I was prepared to die.  Surely I would not live through this.” 

I enjoyed this book.  I highly recommend it for everyone - especially mothers and daughters.  I wish I had read it years ago. I would have had a better understanding concerning certain things.  Ms. Erman - you have shared part of your life with us.  I am better having read it.  Thank you.

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