How to Respect an Irresponsible Man

Christina Dixon
PriorityONE Publications (2005)
ISBN 12345609703634787890
Reviewed by Christina J. Gonzalez, LMHC for Reader Views (2/06)

The book, “How to Respect an Irresponsible Man,” by Christina Dixon intends to provide a resource to Christian women who are dealing with problems in their relationship due to the irresponsibility, emotional abuse or lack of spirituality of their partners. The author provides several examples of how men can be irresponsible in their family relationships, how women frequently contribute to the irresponsibility of men in their attempts to “save” the relationship. It provides Christian viewpoints on the nature of relationships and roles of each partners, advice to unmarried women as to how to analyze potential partners, and includes an excellent list at the end of the book for further reading. In addition, she provides a very frank accounting of her own experiences in loving an irresponsible man, almost losing everything, leaving her religion and how she eventually regained and rediscovered her own respect and that of her husband.

Ms. Dixon is very successful in carrying out her main point. While some of the “Christian” character of the book might be difficult to fully comprehend by those who are not versed in this spiritual tradition, and some of Ms. Dixon’s statements about what constitutes sinful behavior could be construed as offensive by those who do not share some of the same beliefs, her main points are very solid; by taking responsibility regardless of their partners’ behaviors, Christian women can regain the respect they may have lost for their partners, and strengthen themselves, their faith and their families- regardless of the actions of their partners.

In reading this book, I appreciated the honesty and candor that is displayed as Ms. Dixon speaks of the many mistaken paths that she took when her own husband was behaving in an irresponsible manner and placing their financial and spiritual future into huge jeopardy. I found the way she talked about the role that women often assume in helping their husbands to remain irresponsible a fresh approach that did not use the terms “boundary”, “co- dependent” or “empower” but rather, explained how to go about getting out of these traps by taking responsibility, having faith in God, being accountable before one’s family and one’s God, and others. Of particular benefit to me were the beautiful prayers that Ms. Dixon includes at the end of each chapter, and that can also serve as meditations.

At first the reading was a bit awkward due to multiple Bible citations, many of which did not contain the text of the scriptures, and I found myself skimming over some citation-rich paragraphs as I had my own Bible in a different room and didn’t want to go to the trouble of finding it. This book is definitely for conservative, faithful, Christian women who share similar beliefs to Ms. Dixon, as others might take issue with her concepts of what is considered to be “sinful” behavior and I did find myself struggling in a few situations by some statements that did not necessarily correspond with my own beliefs. I found, however, that by letting go of these prejudices, I was able to still gain much information from the text of the book and from the candid, heartfelt sharing of the author.

In conclusion, as a woman who has had experience with irresponsible men both in my personal life and in my professional life, I found this book to be solid, Christian-oriented guide for women seeking to change their families and to stop helping support the lack of responsibility in their partners. Ms. Dixon shows women how to strengthen their families, even when they are the only one in the family who WANTS to change.

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