Parenting Your Parents DVD: What to Do When It's Your Turn

Jim Comer
Comer Communications (2006)
ISBN 159975245X
Reviewed by Joe Graham for Reader Views (01/07)

Nine years ago, Jim Comer got a call at seven in the morning from his parent’s next door neighbor to let him know that his father had apparently had a stroke.  His mother was already suffering from the early stages of Alzheimer’s. That phone call turned Comer’s life upside down. He ended up having to quit his job in Los Angeles and move to Austin, Texas, to help monitor the care of his parents. He  In this DVD, Comer, in a 45-minute talk and 25-minute Question and Answer session passes on things he has  learned as he went through the experience of learning to parent his parents. And just like children, his mother and father presented different challenges. 
 
With a truckload of humor and uplifting attitude, Comer tells the audience what to expect and how to avoid some of the potholes that he encountered.  In his companion book, “Parenting Your Parents” he covers 50 questions to save time, money and tears. In his talk, Comer covers two of those questions:  “Do your parents have a will?” and “Do you know which siblings are going to show up when the time comes?” He also throws out a wealth of tips like “Just Keep Showing Up.”  This tip is in response to the reluctance of most of us including Comer to visit loved ones in a nursing home. It hurts to see them and other people in the nursing home, but Comer says “Just Keep Showing Up” and visiting will be easier as it becomes the routine.  Also, when dealing with aging parents, Comer says you need to know that “Patience is the currency of love.” In other words, you just need to be very, very patient as you deal with parents who have lost some of their independence and are frustrated by that loss.
           
This DVD is for anyone who has aging parents and who is finding themselves in a role reversal where they are now the parents and their parents have become the kids.  The viewer will be entertained while they learn some valuable hints on how to deal with their parents. This is very tough subject for the sons and daughters who suddenly find themselves as the parents for their parents and Comer’s humor makes the subject much more tolerable.

I thought the DVD “Parenting your Parents” was outstanding. As I try to deal with aging parents, I sometimes feel really stressed and the humor and compassion that came through in Comer’s speech made me realize that I am not alone in what I am going through. His suggestions and hints were extremely helpful, and I think that the next time I am feeling overwhelmed, I will pop the DVD back in the machine, hit play and let Comer’s humor help relieve some of my stress so I can return to my job of caregiver with an uplifted spirit.

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