So, You're Not Mother Teresa: Acts of Kindness and Gifts from the Heart

Terri Cannavo
Brown Books (2006)
ISBN 1933285508
Reviewed by Lynn Downs for Reader Views (11/06)

When a good friend of mine recently passed away, I stood in a fog. I was unsure what to say to her family or how to express my empathy to them over their loss. I had no idea what to do to ease the troubles and pain they were going through. How I wish I would have had this book in my library.

Terri Cannovo takes situations that occur in our everyday lives - births, deaths, illnesses - and gives us a "survival guide" on how to be the most supportive person you can be in those situations. As her title states, you don't have to be Mother Teresa to show true acts of kindness. And for most of us, it isn't that we aren't kind and empathetic. We just don't know where to begin. With Terri's help, the reader learns how to develop skills of giving and caring. For example, in the case of my friends passing Terri suggested that I could have offered to run errands for the family, done some yard or house work for them, make a CD of soothing music or write them a letter letting them know how much their loved one meant to me. These few simple things can remind the family that we care about them and our there for them, even if we don't say it out loud.

This book also teaches us that sometimes, it isn't what we say or do - it's what we don't say. Many times, an act of true compassion and friendship is to be the shoulder that your friend needs and learning to stop talking and start listening. So many times we find ourselves feeling like we have to say things like "I understand" or "I know how you feel" when we really don't have a clue what the other person is feeling. For example, unless you have lost a child or experienced a terminal illness, you would not know or understand how someone in that situation feels. Terri shows us that we don't need to say anything at all so show our support, just listen and allow the other person to vent out their anger or cry on our shoulder.

“So, You're Not Mother Teresa” is a handbook for showing kindness and compassion, empathy and sympathy. It is categorized alphabetically by situations, so that the answer to any event is right at your fingertips. Terri believes that beginning to show simple kindness to those around you in their times of need is the noblest of gifts you can give a person, and I agree. Simple acts of compassion and understand go a long way in healing hearts and minds.

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