Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's Guide to Pirate Parenting

Tim Bete
Cold Tree Press (2007)
ISBN 1583851275
Reviewed by Susan Pettrone for Reader Views (5/07)

As I am the parent of pirate “Barnacle Boo” who eats, sleeps and dreams all things pirate, I was both hesitant and eager to read this book. Since said “Barnacle Boo” has his ‘cabin’ (we're not allowed to call it a room anymore...it’s his CABIN thank Ye’ very much!) arrayed in every bit of pirate memorabilia from fish netting, to personalized cabin sign (thank ye’ Uncle Joel!) to hand-painted maps on carpet....I was sincerely wondering what other advice could be given this mother of a sea captain.

I shouldn't have worried. Not only is this book easily read and understood by parents of all grades of pirates, from the very beginning pirate starting in mere infancy, but it also covers the most advanced of pirates with every level in between. With chapters easily found and documented such as “Baby pirates-mapping out your child’s future” and “Quelling mutinies-disciplining your pirate,” even this mother of a pirate found plenty of advice I had not previously considered, such as under the heading of “shall I maroon my pirate?,” the author suggests to “. . . maroon him in the produce section of a grocery store. He won't find anything to eat there.” THAT I found not only great advice but a suggestion I wish I’d had during my last shopping trip when said Barnacle Boo decided to push his pirating limits by demanding more sugared “pirate puffs.” This mother was pushed to the limit of making Boo walk the plank but since there was no plank available, I settled for a “general pirate grounding from pillaging” instead.

But, as useful as the part on proper pirate discipline was my favorite part of the entire book was the section entitled, “Your Pirates first ship--How to convert your minivan into a Pirate Schooner.” I especially enjoyed the section where you are taught how to rename your future vessel with a proper pirate moniker. Somehow “town and county unlimited” didn't have the dashing tone Barnacle Boo desired, but he WAS satisfied with the moniker we worked out from the book. We took the toss of the dice, “Happy Curse” and adapted it to a more sinister level thus....”Barnacle Boo's Bloody Curse” was born. This name my son felt had a rough, tough pirate-like air to it and also showed the vessel had been on many a dangerous voyage! Personally, I have no problem whatsoever with the changes to the minivan, but I do suspect his father will be a bit reluctant to fly the skull and crossbones through the sunroof....but as Barnacle Boo says, “We’ll cross that gangplank when we come to it!”

Seriously, I do have a son who is crazy for pirates and he does have a room that is pirate-themed. He is a creative child and it takes all my energies to keep up with him and his thirst for new creative pirate items. This book gave me not only a chuckle but did stir the imagination with more than one idea within its pages. And I found myself laughing aloud on more than one occasion, when I realized how very much some of the articles mirrored my 8-year-old pirate son!

Both Barnacle Boo and I heartily recommend “Cap'n Billy ‘The Butcher’ MacDougall's Guide to Pirate Parenting” for all parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles or others who have a pirate loving child in their life, for even though the title states "Pirate Parenting," in my opinion, it is more "pirate loving." For anyone who has a child who adores pirates as mine does, will admit, having a good sense of humor is as all important and having the right treasure map or parrot...for without one of the three, being a pirate is about as worthless as a broken jar of dirt! Savvy?!?

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