Into the Silence: The Power of Stillness in Living and Dying

Judith M. Ashley
iUniverse (2007)
ISBN 9780595440856
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (12/07)

“Into the Silence” is a beautiful tribute to Judith Ashley’s mother, Enid.  While the author was residing in the United States, her mother was dying of cancer in England.  Ashley went to be with her towards the end.  “Into the Silence” tells the story of coming to terms with dying.  Essentially, you are learning to live while dying.  This story taught me to evaluate my own life.  As I read, I felt that it is important to learn to live like you are dying, because if you wait until the end, it might be too late to clean up the loose ends.

As the story progresses, Enid’s life is revealed.  She sounded like such a wonderful woman throughout her whole life.  As she was dealing with terminal cancer, she maintained her dignity and a sense of humor.  She cleared up her loose ends by going through her possessions and by making amends with the people that she needed to. 

Ashley had to come to terms with seeing her mother deteriorate and knowing that her death was imminent.  She also left her husband behind in the United States while she was there to be with her mom.  It was also a learning experience for Ashley to see how each of her siblings dealt with her mother’s illness.  She saw that there was a great deal of differences in their coping skills.

Most of the story is written in the form of letters that Ashley sent to her husband while she was in England.  Her special relationship with her husband helped her to cope; however, it was obvious that she missed him greatly.  This was another tribute to a wonderful person.  Ashley’s children also had to deal with losing their grandma in their own way.  Just like her siblings, each adult child had their own personalities and coping styles. She accepted them for who they are and was able to see them grow through this experience.  At the same time that she was losing Enid, her husband was losing his mother.  Having to deal with both losses at the same time, gave them a better understanding of what each person was going through.
         
“Into the Silence” will be a life-altering book for all who read it.  It is a beautiful story about the love between a mother and a daughter, and about dealing with death.  It also taught me how to deal with life.  As I was reading, I asked myself about how I want to be remembered and what kind of legacy I want to leave behind.  I learned that you can go through tremendous suffering and still maintain your dignity and humanity.  It also makes you really evaluate what is important in your life.  I learned that I need to simplify my life.  At the end, I think that most of us will realize that so much of what we once deemed important was trivial.  As Ashley states, “…I contemplated on what creates a full life, and I think it is the stillness in which we can dwell in every moment, even while attending to the necessary structure of everyday life.” 

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