Interview with Philip Ferranti Reader Views welcomes Philip Ferranti, author of the self-help book Love and Freedom: Pathways to Personal Transformation for an interview.Philip is talking with Juanita Watson, Assistant Editor of Reader Views. Juanita: Hi Philip, thanks for joining us today. You have written a fantastic self-help guide titled “Love and Freedom: Pathways to Personal Transformation.” Would you please tell your readers what your book is about?
Juanita: What inspired you to write this book? Philip: I was inspired to write Love and Freedom because in living my life I experienced both the empowerment, fulfillment and happiness that comes when an individual becomes their own self, and lives their life as a person...but I also witnessed the stress, chaos and suffering in human beings who had yet to become their authentic self, who lived life as something other than a person. I find that there is a core trinity of three realities that constitute the foundation of authentic living: that a human being authentically LOVE, that they live FREE, and that both their love and freedom are an extension of them living as a real PERSON, their own true self. Juanita: The subtitle of your book reads, “the power of becoming your own person.” What does “becoming your own person” actually mean? Philip: Becoming your own PERSON is linked to becoming your own SELF. Such a human being knows who and what they are. They live free from dependency on others, becoming self-reliant upon their own power to choose, to evaluate, solve problems, love, accept other people for being who they are and life for being what it is. Such a self-actualized PERSON deeply values friendship, honest & mutual relationships free from power & control issues/drama, and loves from the heart, not from their ego or some Hollywood version of what love is. Someone living passionately as their own person thinks independently, knows what they really value and what really matters, and infuses true virtue and character into their choices and dealings with other people. A key concept in BECOMING YOUR OWN PERSON is this: the individual, for the most part, does not over-identify and over-attach to any "thing" other than their own self and their own personal values. They are not controlled by: their minds and what ideas they think; or their emotions/feelings, or their wants and desires, appetites or instincts....they examine society’s directives ie. "get married, have a relationship, get a career, become successful etc." in the light of their own timetable, their own nature, values and needs. For such a PERSON, life is the sharing with others in a "Personal" way...not tainted with using or manipulating or controlling another......for to live Personal means that one sees and experiences others as persons first....not men or women, tall or short, ugly or attractive, rich or poor, this religion or political affiliation or that etc. Juanita: Philip, would you explain Dependency, Independence and Interdependence as describe in your book? Philip: Dependency is the first stage of Self-development. It exists when we have real needs dependent on other people...love, discipline, guidance, acceptance, sharing etc. Independence happens when we become our own self, our own Person. We live from our power to choose, take responsibility, accept others, forgive, love, create, think and assess situations independently...we know, gut level, that we create our own life, our own reality, and our own happiness....not someone or something else. Interdependence is the relationship aspect of being Independent. It happens when we interact with others as a person...not a thing. People are not an "It"...but a 'Thou"....and we live our relationships with passion, joy, honesty, commitment, integrity etc. Juanita: What do people typically do that sabotages their happiness? Philip: People sabotage their own happiness by first not living their own life, but living from scripts, roles, expectations, wants, obsessions, dependency on others etc. They also hurt themselves by self-hate vs. self-love. They have often failed to examine other people's ideas, myths, society's expectations etc. for their true worth and for their truth. Not everybody, for instance, has to go to college, nor is wealth the true measure of success. Juanita: Philip, what type of help does your book offer towards self-empowerment, change strategies, and making better choices – all which lead to personal freedom? Philip: My book shares with people the "Process" of Self-development....just what steps are necessary for someone to become their authentic self, and live life as a Person...not a thing. I also share key choices that a human being must make in order to become their own Person...choices like self-love vs. selfishness; the awareness of what happens when we identify "I am..." with anything other than my own self ie. I am Not my thoughts, roles, job, political ideas, feelings etc. I emphasize the true nature of Personal relationships versus using and manipulating others, and I show dozens of possible challenges that exist when an individual lives from a truly healthy Independence (it's not about going it alone, but making your own decisions, sharing as one Person to another). Juanita: Philip, why do you think people look to their intimate relationships for personal validation and acceptance instead of giving it to themselves? What does this do to their personal relationships? Philip: People are almost obsessed with "finding that special someone and being with another, in intimate relationships" because they have not yet Found Themselves! Relationships then become Distractions from the pain of unresolved issues, the suffering that happens when we are simply not being ourselves, the illusions that someone else can give me what only I can give myself...my own Life and my own self-love. We are media driven toward sexual fulfillment/pleasure rather than experiencing the authentic happiness and fulfillment that comes from simply being your own self, a person, Free!...living in the empowerment and security of real virtue and character; living in the invigorating network of authentic friendships and personal relationships. Living a spiritual life, rather than just a material one. When you have failed to love yourself and don't even know that self-love is the basis of your own "feeling good", then we become driven to find love outside ourselves...and with that comes all the angst and stress and insecurity in turning our lives over to the power of someone else! Juanita: Philip, is it really possible for someone to overcome an overactive mind, false identities, and negative emotions? Philip: People CAN overcome an overactive mind, false identities and negative emotions. I share with readers powerful strategies that do just that. I also dramatically show how we get involved with such debilitating behavior to begin with. Juanita: What does real love and personal freedom actually mean? Philip: Real love.....the seeing of another human being as first a PERSON...a Thou to be known, experienced, accepted, shared with and loved; someone deep down, very much like ourselves; for love is an action, a choice for the well-being of another, a consistent flow of choices in their behalf that works and intends that they become their own self, a Person...Free and capable of authentic Love. Personal Freedom consists in this...nothing and no one stops us from being our own self, our own person...living life passionately, with joy and purpose....grounded firmly in the power to choose, and a spiritual reality that centers us in Personal reality. Juanita: What core values do you think are missing in many peoples lives, and would you comment on the values that have taken precedence in our western culture? Philip: What is missing in our society is simply the awareness of "The Personal"...we instead stress money, sex, things, success etc. over love, friendship, virtue, freedom, forgiveness, creativity, service, passionate living with joy etc. We are a society that markets and sells...things. What can be sold...has value. What has value...can be sold. We keep score...rather than live. We deceive, mis-represent our selves and our products /services.....just to make the sale. We promise others our attention and friendship...but never actually act on those promises...."let's do lunch" is a perfect example of "promisory notes never collected". Friendship, love, virtue, character, service, love of nature and love of God.....none of these are for sale, nor can be. And thus so many of thses are so lightly valued. Juanita: Philip, you have coined a dynamic phrase that affirms your vision of spirituality – “he who would reject another destroys the very bridge over which he, himself, must pass.” Would you elaborate on this? Philip: "He who would reject another destroys the very bridge over which he, himself, must pass"...is a key cornerstone for any meaningful spirituality.......for to be our truest self, and live life from it's deepest, with meaning and purpose....means that we love other human beings, accept them as expressions of our very own self....love them and share with them, as we so need them to share with us....and always in a Personal, celebratory way. Our present loneliness and isolation that so drives us to seek in all the wrong places for our true self, is met only in the loving embrace of the love/acceptance we bear for ourselves, with and for each other, and within the ultimate relationship with God as we come to know and love God. Juanita: Who have been your influences on your path to personal transformation? Philip: Those people who have shown me what it means to be a real person, their authentic self have most influenced me on my path towards personal transformation. Christ in the Gospels was a big influence...especially in the way that he love human beings as "persons", not stereotypes. Being love by certain people in my life, in a personal way....as well as being related to in impersonal ways...times when someone tried to use me, manipulate or control me...these also taught me what was valuable to me and what wasn't. Juanita: I understand that you are the founder of Transformation Seminars and The Ferranti Foundation. What type of presentations do you offer, and what is your educational background? Philip: My seminars include: I have a master's degree in Counseling & Education. Juanita: How can readers find out more about you and “Love and Freedom: Pathways to Personal Transformation”? Philip: My web site, www.philipferranti.com has a link to my new book, Love and Freedom. The book can be purchased through iuniverse.com, Barnes & Nobel also. Juanita: Philip, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us today. You have given readers much to think about, and we encourage everyone to pick up a copy of “Love and Freedom” today. Do you have any last thoughts? Philip: Anyone striving and committed to living life as their authentic and empowered self, living more personally in their relationships with others, living Free by being their own person....that individual would greatly benefit from reading then living and choosing the choices offered in Love and Freedom.
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