Interview with Thomas Brooks

A Wealth of Family
Thomas Brooks
Alpha Multimedia, Inc. (2006)
ISBN 0977462935
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (6/06)

Reader Views welcomes Thomas Brooks, author of “A Wealth of Family: An Adopted Son's International Quest for Heritage, Reunion, and Enrichment.” Thomas is being interviewed by Juanita Watson, Assistant Editor of Reader Views.

Juanita:  Thanks for taking the time to talk with us today Thomas.  Would you tell us about the personal story you write about in your new book “A Wealth of Family: An Adopted Son's International Quest for Heritage, Reunion, and Enrichment”?

Thomas:  I am very happy to talk with Reader Views.  Thanks for the opportunity.
In my book A Wealth of Family, I write about how I grew up as the only child of a struggling single mother in inner-city Pittsburgh. I was battling racial stereotypes at school and searching for a place among my peers. Then I was told at age eleven that I had been adopted. I did not know it at the time, but I had actually been born to a white biological mother who descended from Lithuanian Jews and a black Kenyan foreign student father.  Years after that stunning revelation, I escaped the ghetto and traveled to search for my heritage.  I found my biological mother in London with my previously unknown British siblings. I then located my biological father and extended family in Nairobi. My international search and the resulting reunions have profoundly affected three families in the United States, England, and Kenya.

Juanita:  What inspired you to write your book?

Thomas:  I knew my story can help, inspire or entertain some people who have faced issues related to adoption, multicultural families, racism and/or poverty.  Now, it is a great feeling when people tell me or email me about how my book has touched their lives.

Juanita:  What was life like for you living in inner-city Pittsburgh?

Thomas: My adoptive mother, Joan, did her best to find a nice place for us to live. By the time I was three years old, she was divorced.  At that time, many properties would not rent to families with small children. The properties that did allow small children were often in bad neighborhoods and beset with rats, roaches, or noisy tenants. We continued to move around when I was in elementary school to escape difficult living conditions. As we moved, we stayed on the North Side of Pittsburgh.  We rarely had money to spare. We often lived on government welfare assistance since it was a big challenge for Joan, as a single mother, to find affordable childcare on a working class salary. But what we lacked in money, Joan more than compensated for with love.

Juanita:  What was it like to live in an environment of racism and poverty?  How did you overcome their mental and emotional dehumanizing effects?

Thomas:  I battled racism from white people.  But I also had problems with Black people who carried race-related baggage.  After my junior year of high school, I was academically at the top of my class by a slim margin.  My Black friends told me, “Those White folks ain’t gonna let you be valedictorian, regardless of your grades.” I heard them, but I didn’t listen. I knew that I was in control. I was determined to be the first Black valedictorian at New Brighton High School.  In the end, I was.

Ultimately, education was the primary enabler to help me overcome racism and poverty and get out of the ghetto. I worked my tail off in high school, relative to my peers.  Secondly, although I did not have a father in the home while I grew up, I was fortunate to have a few good male role models.  Finally, sports taught me how to be a part of a team, to be responsible, to set goals, and to be healthy and physically fit. I also learned to be a leader, to take direction from a manager or coach, and to win graciously.  Most of all, sports taught me how to learn from defeat and to bounce back stronger the next time.

Juanita:  Why did your mother decide to tell you about your adoption?  How did the shocking news affect you?

Thomas: My adoptive mother told me when I was eleven.  She felt that God led her to believe that it was the right time to share the news.  It really blew my mind, especially because I fit in so well with my light skinned African-American adoptive family and extended family.  But, after a few weeks, I realized that my adoptive mother loved me and that she was my real mother.  Thus, I was able to get over the shocking news.

Juanita:  When did you decide to begin your search for your biological family?  What sparked your decision to find them?

Thomas:  I was twenty-five years old when, after a few months of thought, I decided to search for my biological parents. It was 1992, during the last semester of my MBA studies at the University of Maryland. Even though I had known of my adoption since I was eleven years old and had a very good relationship with my adoptive family, I had a growing need to know more about my biological background. Because I knew nothing of my biological parents and their heritage, I felt somehow that my own human identity was partially lacking. I had this sentiment in common with many African-Americans whose family heritages were erased by centuries of slavery, but in my case even the previous generation was a mystery.

Juanita:  How did you discover your biological mother in London?

Thomas:  I wrote to the adoption agency in 1992.  I eventually received all available nonidentifying information in the four-page document from the adoption agency.  I was taken aback to receive any information at all. It was incredibly fulfilling to add additional pieces to the puzzle of my own identity. I felt like I had the majority of what I wanted after getting the document provided by the agency. My biological mother was a White American who gave birth to me at the age of nineteen. My biological father was Kenyan and about twenty-six years old at the time of my birth. I was indeed multiracial. I learned that both of my parents attended college.  This was more information than I had ever expected to find. It gave me a good feeling about the contribution of both of my parents to my heritage.

Shortly thereafter, the woman from the adoption agency wrote that she had called my biological maternal grandmother, Dorothy Wallstein.  Luckily, the grandmother had lived in the same house outside of Pittsburgh and had kept the same phone number since my adoption. This grandmother put the agency in touch with my birth mother.  I was surprised. I had not expected the agency to pursue this. The fact that my biological mother had written to the adoption agency years before, asking them to put a notice on file stating that if I ever sought information or contact that she would be open to contact from her child, no doubt facilitated this.

Juanita:  What about your biological father in Nairobi, Kenya?

Thomas: Thanks to my biological mother, I knew his name was Mboga Mageka Omwenga.  I did a little research to discover that his name was likely from the Kisii ethnic group in Kenya.  Then, I just flew Kenya and did some detective work.  I pursued about fourteen different people and paths to find my biological father.  On that initial trip, I met my Kenyan half-sister and a couple of uncles.  My father was out of the country at the time.  So, I returned to Kenya about six months later to meet my father.

Juanita:  What have these reunions taught you about the powerful bond of family?

Thomas:  Whether you have one, two or even three extended families like me, you have the opportunity for a two-way exchange of love and fun, and the opportunity to learn as well.  Of course, almost all relationships, to be meaningful, need to be two-way.  This requires an investment on some level by both parties.  My three amazing families give me plenty of incentive to invest. 

Part of the reason I wrote this book is because I am proud of the heritage of my three diverse families. It is an inclusive pride, one that I believe others can identify with and celebrate.  There is the courage and integrity of my Kenyan father.  The odyssey of my ancestors on my biological mother’s side, who escaped the murderous persecution of the Orthodox Russians against Lithuanian Jews, is impressive and compelling. There is my individual piece in the large and grand African-American experience, growing up in a dynamic family in Pittsburgh. I hope this book will inspire you to explore your life, culture, and relationships and to discover something in which you can find meaning.

Juanita:  How has your international journey to discover your family changed the direction of your life?  What has experiencing multi-cultural family members taught you about healthy family relationships? 

Thomas:  The biggest change is the realization that people can build bridges across continents, races and cultures.  In fact, no barrier is too large or too difficult.

The cultural differences have been a factor in my interactions with my biological families.  The difficult economic conditions in Kenya seem to have led to culture of extended family closeness - effectively "I am my brother's and cousin's keeper".  The Kenyans seem to be imbued with a cheery spirit of spontaneous hospitality.

The British, while westerners like the Americans, seem to be a little more laid back with respect to their careers - which can both a positive and a negative (we Americans need more vacation time!).  However, in the end, you can't make assumptions about individual people because of their cultural background, nationality or race.  You have to deal with each person as an individual, while keeping an awareness of possible cultural factors.

As stated previously…Whether you have one, two or even three extended families like me, you have the opportunity for a two-way exchange of love and fun, and the opportunity to learn as well.  Of course, almost all relationships, to be meaningful, need to be two-way.  This requires an investment on some level by both parties.  My three amazing families give me plenty of incentive to invest. 

Juanita: How has it changed the lives of the members of all three of your families?

Thomas:  After I found my biological mother Dorothy, my adoptive mother Joan in Pittsburgh started to feel that her mother-son relationship with me was threatened. Joan was uncomfortable at first, and might have even been a bit jealous. Joan believed that I might have more in common with Dorothy, and therefore I might not need to spend much time with her, even though she raised me. Dorothy was initially anxious to contact, call, write, and meet Joan. Dorothy wanted to thank Joan for taking care of me when she couldn’t. I prevented any interaction, even letters, between Dorothy and Joan for about four years. It took a significant amount of time for me to reassure Joan that I still loved her, that she was and always would be my real mother, and that the relationship we always had would not change because I had found Dorothy.  One of my cousins in my adoptive family in Pittsburgh was initially sad, feeling “that Tommie was ours, a Lowry first.” Some cousins were concerned that I would reject and replace the Lowry family in my life. However, they soon realized that this quest to know my birth families was important to me and they remained supportive. Overall, the Lowry family continued to give me the same beautiful, unconditional love.  Everything was fine in the end.

My optimism and aggressiveness seem to have rubbed off a bit on my English siblings.  For example, my biological mother believes that my achievements were a good influence to help one of my brothers jumpstart his career.  He went on to study professional broadcasting.  My sister Lotus from London is a sensitive and caring person. She seems to know what people need before they say it. She is a good judge of character. I really feel like I could rely on her as a sister and a confidante, which has been a big positive for me.

Stories of my struggles as an adolescent in the inner city seem to have provided my Kenyan sister Margaret with inspiration to overcome her own challenges. Although I was far from perfect, I wanted to be a positive role model for her. I believed that meeting me has facilitated positive self-evaluation for Margaret. I reinforced the principles of self-confidence and determination in Margaret, qualities she already had. Margaret eventually went to college in Pennsylvania and graduated, and she now understands both Kenyan and American culture. Thus, she now really helps me to better understand Kenyan culture and my Kenyan family.

Juanita:  How will your reunion experience change the way you approach your own children and family?  Do you think you will be a different father/husband than you would have been had you not discovered your family?

Thomas:  My four year old son already knows that he has three living grandmothers, and that they come from different races and cultures.  My children will be a living testimony to the opportunities available if we only embrace diversity.  My reunion experiences helped me develop my perspective as a world citizen, not limited by race, religion, nationality, or political ideology.  My children will learn this from me.

Also, my wife and I are now looking into adopting a child to add to the two biological children that we already have.  This should increase the abundance of love, fun and happiness that we already have.

Juanita:  What would you say to others that may not be adopted, but are struggling to find their place in the world?

Thomas:  Even if you are not adopted, and even if you cannot trace your roots back 200 years, you can still find your identity.  For example, you may be able to forge stronger connections with your parents and grand-parents.  You can also reconnect with old friends that you grew up with.  Another idea is to spend some time around your old neighborhoods.  You can also connect to your heritage through reading and research.

At the same time, we must remember that one can simultaneously pursue the very best in personal and collective identity without, in the process, building walls to others.

Juanita:  Thomas, you are a very accomplished young entrepreneur.  Where did your passion to succeed come from? 

Thomas: Because I was economically disadvantaged during my youth, I have been motivated to get an education and work hard to succeed.  I have been shifting more focus and passion to ownership of businesses, intellectual property rights, stocks, and real estate to have my wealth work for me.  I learned these lessons related to ownership largely from the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.

Juanita:  Thomas, what do you want readers to ultimately understand by reading your new book “A Wealth of Family: An Adopted Son's International Quest for Heritage, Reunion, and Enrichment”?

Thomas:  This inspiring adoption and reunion saga delivers timely and provocative viewpoints on multicultural families and powerful insights on how to triumph over racism and poverty. 

Juanita:  Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us today Thomas.  Do you have any last thoughts for your readers today?

Thomas:  A Wealth of Family is actually a wealth of inspiration!  Get a copy for yourself and gift copies as well.  The holiday season is approaching.

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